Halcyon Days are over
by daghely
Summary: It's New Years that means new beginnings. Will the core four stick together or will they drift away? What will the New Year bring for Riley,Maya,Lucas and Farkle
1. Broken Brights

I thought I had it all figured out . The person I loved the people I trusted the things I liked. Truth is I was wrong my dad was right we weren't prepared for the challenges that were coming our way . Our feelings were going to be our biggest enemies , our thoughts and the voices in our head our biggest fears , the ones we held so dear to our heart would end up hurting us. All you're left to do is try and hang on.

GMWGMWGMWGMWGMWGMWGMWGMWGMW

Riley's (P.O.V)

I was angry at myself , angry that I couldn't come to terms to see Lucas as a brother angry that I lied about my feelings. "Riley still loves Lucas" those words kept playing over and over inside my head . The tension on the rooftop could be felt miles away all because of me . I avoided eye contact with Maya for as long as I could , she slowly approached me silence coming between us. "So" she said "I'll let you and Ranger Rick talk". "Maya you don't have to go" I said but she was already gone. I turned around to see everyone had left and a very angry Lucas was coming my way we were face to face his fist clenched, nothing could prepare me for what was about to happen. "You lied to me Riley" ! " You of all people you…you broke my heart" Lucas I'm sorr… "No its my turn to talk"! "You lied about how you felt about me , you called me your brother , do you know how much that hurt"? "How many times I actually cried for you and for it all to be a lie" "Did you ever bother to ask me how I felt , did you not think my feelings mattered"!? "Well they do Riley , my feelings do matter and you didn't take them into consideration you just assumed that I wanted Maya right away" "Telling me to move on with her to be with her to make her happy while you pretend everything is alright but you're actually hurting" "l never get to talk about how I feel! about who I like it's always about what YOU think is right and what YOU think is best for everyone." "Right when I was starting to come to terms on how i actually do have feelings for Maya you come and ruin it". I should've left right then when he said that but I didn't I stayed put and listened to what he had to say something I should've done along time ago. I finally gathered my words and spoke. "Lucas it's not like I didn't try and stop Farkle from saying anything I tried alright! I tried" ! I was practically screaming at him he was mad and I couldn't blame him. I felt this aching pain in my chest and I couldn't get it to stop . He had finally admitted to liking Maya and I ruined whatever chance they had together . "We were such good friends what happened"? "These last few moths have been hard for me no being able to understand this whole brother thing" " I want us back to normal again". " I want to have our unofficial thing again" " I want us back , just me and you riles". I looked at him pain written all over his face and I reminded myself that I was the one that caused it." Lucas" I finally managed to get out "if you wanted "us" back you would've said something to me when I was dating Charlie , you would've asked me to semi -formal and if you truly liked me you wouldn't have kissed Maya and admitted that you had feelings for her, that's where I would've realized there was an actual "us" . " Im sorry i didn't ask you to semi- formal im sorry for not fighting for you and that kiss Riley it meant nothing to me". I wished I could've believed him but my insecurities always got the best of me. " A kiss always means something" I said venom in my voice. "I'm sorry Lucas but we can't go back to how things were, so much has happened". " I'm sorry I wish I can go back in time but things happen for a reason, maybe we were only meant to be just friends". I had to stop lying to him and myself and start facing reality. " I knew you cared about Maya, but the way you fought for her for the art program ,that's when I knew you liked her you always have ever since you fist saw her you were so passionate about her and her art and I knew right then and there that there was something between you guys you just couldn't see it because of me" I stared at ground not wanting to look at him in the eyes knowing I would break this whole façade I've been trying to keep on. " Riles I need to know something is it true what Farkle said that you still love me"? Holding back tears my eyes were practically burning trying not to let a single one fall. "Do you love me Riley"? "I want to believe that you love me , say it Riles so we can put this mess behind us 3 words 8 letters say it Riles please". "No" stop lying to yourself riley stop before it's too late. "No what"? He said "No I don't love you ,I'm sorry Lucas" " I don't get it why would Farkle say that if it weren't true , Riley you're lying I know you're lying ,look at me right into the eyes and tell me you don't feel anything for me." This was it this was the moment that was going to break both our hearts , I looked right into his eyes and finally spoke , " Lucas you know I care about you I will always feel something for you no matter if it's romantic feelings or normal feelings you were the first boy I ever liked , sure I loved the thought of us being together someday but after everything that's happened I can't see a future with you anymore as I once could ,what Farkle said tonight on the rooftop was kind of true I do love you but I'm not In love with you" You did it Riley , you lied once again some of what you said being true of course. It took every ounce of strength I had left to get that out. "Goodnight Riley, happy new year " was all he said to me tears slowly starting to come down his face. As soon as he left I ran to my room tears began to fall , and guilt began to take over I was hurt by the way he had screamed at me but he was mad and he had every right to be I lied but it was all in favor to keep my friends happy and look where that got me. Everything was my fault and quite frankly I was getting tired of pretending everything was okay , I started the new year alone no friends beside me and it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would . This year will be different ,this year will be the year that I would finally put my happiness before others I know it may seem selfish but as of right now I don't care. Maya and Lucas could finally be together with me out of the picture . My feelings for Lucas well those were just going to have to go into a box and I was just going to have to throw away the key. Its true what they say ,If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't it was never meant to be.

Deep down I hoped we were meant to be.


	2. Best Not To Think About it

**Hey guys thank you for reading my story it's my first time publishing something like this and I just wanted to thank those who read it and reviewed it . I got a question on what the pairings will be as for right now I don't know it could be Rucas or Lucaya or neither or I might add another character you'll just have to wait and see. Thank you xoxo -daghely**

Riley's P.O.V

Never would I imagine that I'd hate Farkle as much as I did right now. The events from last week were enough to keep everyone away from me which was probably for the better. Only if Farkle would've stayed quite none of this would've happened. I should've known secrets always have a way coming out one way or another and sometimes it's at a great cost. "Riley"? a knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts. "Come in" I said, "Honey you haven't left your room in a week don't you think it's time to go outside and hang out with your friends" "Mom you know I would but I'm not really feeling well" oh Riley you and you're lying when are you ever going to learn. " Riley I know it pains you to see the way Lucas looks at Maya, but don't you think you're being a little immature about it"? Even my mom likes Maya better then me but hey it wouldn't be the first time she was team Maya. " Mom I don't mean to sound rude but my issues with Maya and Lucas are none of your business". " Riley I don't think you're seeing my point it's okay to admit it Lucas likes Maya , honey you know I love you but you don't stand a chance against Maya" That's it I cant take it anymore all my life she's done nothing but compare me with Maya . "Why don't you just say you like Maya more then me why don't you finally admit it"! " All my life you've done nothing but tear me down in order to build her up , you don't think that hurts mom or should I even call you that"? " Mayas a strong amazon warrior , Mayas talented , beautiful this and that why cant you ever tell me I'm talented why cant you ever say I'm strong or beautiful"! " When I said I was going to try out for the cheer team you said I shouldn't do it because I wasn't good enough but when it comes to Maya oh boy well she can do just about anything she wants to huh and she can have all the support she wants but not me because poor little Riley will never amount to anything isn't that right mom"? " That's not even half of it but you know why I stayed quiet all this time is because I always put her feelings before mine and you know who taught me that, Dad the person who raised me not you he built me up when **You** teared me down and guess what he's the only person I need". " Riley why can't you just grow up and see that your not always going to get what you want". " Can't you see it's not about what I want it's about you not treating me like I'm your daughter"! why couldn't she understand. " I'm sure Maya wouldn't throw a fit like this". I couldn't control the tears that began to fall " There you go again comparing me to her I've had enough of it , GET OUT , GET OUT , GET OUT OF MY ROOM I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GET OUT , please just get out…". Why can't she see that I'm in pain why cant she console me for once. I hear the door close and I break out in sobs why doesn't she love me... I needed to get out of that house I grabbed a backpack and filled it with as much things as I could fit and called the only other person that could help me. I know running away from my problems isn't the way to go but I can't be by my self any longer my insecutires will start eating away at me my mind would start playing tricks on me. Did Lucas really look at Maya a certain way that I was took blind too see , did he ever really like me or was it just pretend in order to get to Maya? I was now scared I had become my own worst nightmare I was falling into a hole of sadness and I didn't know if I could escape..


End file.
